In today’s episode I’m talking about something I see so often in my coaching work: high-achieving teens and young adults who aren’t struggling with big mental health crises, but with the everyday juggle of holding themselves to an incredibly high bar. I love their drive and their goals, but so many of them are quietly overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed because they haven’t yet learned how to manage everything on their plate.
Here’s what we cover:
- Why high-achieving teens can suffer significantly higher rates of anxiety, depression, and substance use than the national average, even when they look like they have it all together
- The difference between perfectionist strivings and perfectionist concerns, and why it’s the fear underneath the standards, not the standards themselves, that does the damage
- Why failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s the actual mechanism that gets your teen there
- Practical regulation tools for when your teen is spiraling, including naming the emotion and box breathing
- Tangible systems like breaking big projects into smaller tasks, spreading work out, and building an organized space to reduce unnecessary stress
- Why celebrating wins and shifting self-talk matters just as much as the achievement itself
- The two ways parents accidentally get support wrong (over-rescuing and under-supporting), and what “high expectations, high support” actually looks like instead
- Why sitting down with your teen to audit their commitments, and giving them permission to let some go, might be one of the most supportive things you can do
This episode is for any parent of a high-achieving teen who wants to help them go after their big goals in a way that’s sustainable, confident, and doesn’t come at the cost of their wellbeing.
Connect with Jasmyne:
Instagram: @jasmyne.guidedpassages
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Sources for this Episode:
- The Washington Post, “Students in high-achieving schools are now named an ‘at-risk’ group, study says” — https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/09/26/students-high-achieving-schools-are-now-named-an-at-risk-group
- Carolina Journal, “The secrets of success: More sadness, anxiety in high achievers” (citing Luthar, Kumar, & Zillmer, American Psychologist) — https://www.carolinajournal.com/opinion/the-secrets-of-success-more-sadness-anxiety-in-high-achievers/
- Frontiers in Psychology, “Perfectionism and psychological well-being in adolescents with high intellectual abilities” — https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1617755/full
- OxJournal, “Striving to be the Best: The prevalence of perfectionism in young people and the impact on their achievement and well-being” — https://www.oxjournal.org/striving-to-be-the-best/
- PAR Blog, “Anxiety and High-Performing Teens: The Pressures of Perfectionism” — https://www.parinc.com/learning-center/par-blog/detail/content-hub/2024/11/12/anxiety-and-high-performing-teens–the-pressures-of-perfectionism
- American Psychological Association, “Perfectionism and the high-stakes culture of success: The hidden toll on kids and parents” — https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/10/antidote-achievement-culture
